I Want to Go to There.

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

joan rivers is a crusty racist old white who has made fun of domestic abuse and who said that the Palestinians deserve to be wiped out. i am not about to feel sorry for her just because satan is calling her home. let her gag 

heritance:

Never fuck with someone who cries when they’re mad. They’ll stab you 48 times and cry in your stab wounds.

zacharylevis:

I FUCKING HATE BAZINGA TWINK AND THAT THE BIG BANG SUCK MY ASS SHOW FUCKING SEXIST ASS SHOW ABOUT WHITE NERDS THAT MAKE SCIENCE JOKES FROM LIKE THE FIFTH GRADE HOW THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT STILL WINNING FUCKING AWARDS LITERALLY BAZINGA MY FUCKING ASSHOLE 

Me: i don't wanna go to work
Mom: but think of the money
Me: it's not worth the money

unclefather:

you want a man with a strong jawline so you have a sturdy place to sit

cute-bird-dad:

kids are out here like “i wish i was alive during beatlemania” and im like….. beyonce is right here, right now, what is wrong with you. get right with jesus

katara:

Beyoncé got me scheduling my therapist appointment how she gonna start crying on stage she know the hive emotionally unstable

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

how is beyonce real. does she not understand the power she has over me. i would rob a bank for her and get caught on purpose just so she can request the prison to send her my mugshots so she can show blue what kind a man she should stay away from when she grow up

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

im going to need them to stop showing taylor swift dancing during beyonces performance i have been disrespected enough tonight

1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.

2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.

3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.

4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.

5. Fart when you have to.

6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!

7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.

Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)

stephenhawqueen:

the US is unreal like girls cant wear shorts to school, you can literally lose your job for being gay, and unarmed black children are brutally murdered on the regular but old white ppl r still like “what a beautiful country. i can freely carry a gun for no reason and some of our mountains look like presidents. god bless”

nomadic-mantra:

If you’ve ever doubted yourself, walk deep into any forest. Notice how the trees still stand even though they are given no recognition. Walk along any stream. The water still flows, though no one stops to praise it. Watch the stars late at night; they shine without acknowledgment. Humans are just the same. We are made out of the same elements as these beautiful wonders. Always remember your beauty and self worth. 

hotsenator:

Shout out to all of the oldest children…who were used as the tester kids and now watch their younger siblings get away with shit you would have been killed for.. Justice will never be restored